Duke Nukem 3D: 20th Anniversary World Tour Review

I've never been so disgusted at the shamelessness of these selfish game developers, they've defecated all over themselves, and with the acquisition of the Duke Nukem title by Ubisoft and Gearbox, this successful franchise effectively became a money generator.

This is probably the most typical example of how capitalists try to exploit people's nostalgia by selling shitty remakes, but the devs here went a step further; they had the nerve and the utter audacity to delist all previous versions of the game from Steam (and other stores) just so that people would pay for this garbage. Fortunately, the free EDuke32 engine still exists, bringing basically all the "modernizations" of World Tour with additional support for more operating systems other than Windows.

This remake comes with an additional "episode," a level pack about yet another "alien invasion" throughout the world; the U.S., Russia (or the Soviet Union, I don't remember), Egypt, and some other shit nobody cares about (hence the name "World Tour"), and it ends with Duke frying the last boss's testicles on top of Hollywood (kinda hilarious, actually). Unlike the older episodes, this extra one didn't come with "legacy voice acting" (i.e., the crunchy voice filter) which was a horrible experience, as I hated the high quality audio (and it's unjustified bloat). They could've added a simple in-game filter that does just that, but whatever the hell they were thinking.

The only interesting thing that this abomination brings is the boring developer commentary on some levels (mainly Hollywood Holocaust and the new World Tour thing); who would even be interested in this "feature" for what is basically a dead franchise by now? It isn't even interesting, they annoyingly keep pinpointing the most well-known easter eggs and laughing in the background like retards (maybe at the people who bought this game, who knows?). It also comes with a "high resolution" pack that isn't even good; the High Resolution Pack for EDuke32 prettifies the experience with 32-bit high resolution textures, while World Tour left the textures practically untouched.

Worthy to note is that optimization in this remake was never considered, but this is prevalent in capitalism; soydevs and code monkeys are supposed to output more code for more profit. The original ran easily on a 64 MB RAM machine (I used to play an EDuke32 port on the 3DS seamlessly and never saw an issue), but this shit requires multiple gigabytes of RAM and storage, and even on my PS4, the game runs catastrophically and I can hear the fans turning fast. Horrible!

TL;DR - Duke Nukem 3D has been ruined and the franchise has died. I hope these egocentric developers are happy with the few bucks they've earned. F-tier.